Things will get better – on cruel optimism and suicide

People always tell me the most blatant lies. They tell me things will be fixed. That we’ll end capitalism. That AIs won’t substitute my work. That I’ll feel better if I consume more media, or if I do grounding exercises, os buy crystals.

You all are liars. You are liars when I’m on the verge of killing myself and you tell me that everybody cares, everybody understands.

I can take this anymore honestly. Stop spreading lies! Stop telling me that this world, this world that we’re fucking living right now, that this world is even fixable.

I’m trans. They hate transgender people.

I’m autistic. They hate autistic people.

Then why bother even continue living? You wish you had a gun to shoot me in the face, but maybe you prefer having me agonize for years and years, getting old and gray and having to deal with hate and bullying and injustice and everything.

I feel pain. I want to end the pain so badly. And you just tell me not to kill myself. Why? Just so you can tell everyone how your bullshit “saved me”?

I’m not going to call any helplines. I won’t use Google to search for suicide methods because it only tries to convice me not to.

You know how you fix suicide, big tech? By killing YOUR-SELF. Turn off your fucking servers. Quit the bullshit.

Bye.